As a mom of two young kids, a former lawyer, and a legal recruiter, I think a lot about how to make Big Law sustainable (or, in some cases, simply possible) for moms.
While I worry about dads too, of course, it’s nowhere close to the same level of a sticky wicket. It starts with how hard it can be to keep up with Big Law hours during a difficult pregnancy, continues with parental leave (which is unevenly offered/taken by moms and dads), folds in suggestions from partners that moms aren't doing enough, and often ends with lawyers calling me asking to get out.
So, what can we do?
Here's some advice for both firms and moms:
For Firms
- Provide a dedicated resource: A confidential adviser, from the professional development team, trained to assist expectant mothers in managing their workload during pregnancy. This is especially important to women with significant pregnancy symptoms.
- Hire more moms: Increase the number of mothers in the firm to create a supportive environment.
- Shannon Izett, a former associate at a large law firm who now has her own practice, believes that to retain mothers in Big Law, "the primary method is to recruit more mothers. Lateral hires are crucial. It is important to have mothers on the team who already have children." She observed few mothers in her initial practice group, but the situation improved with new hires.
- Respect individual needs: Allow new moms to express their requirements and respect their decisions without dictating changes. A litigation partner emphasized the importance of letting moms decide what they can handle. She didn't want partners deciding that she wouldn't want to travel for a deposition; she wanted to be empowered to make that decision.
- Support flexibility: Encourage flexible schedules and work-from-home arrangements. A Big Law senior associate highlighted the importance of colleagues respecting her calendar and accommodating occasional interruptions from children. This seems easier than ever in a post-COVID landscape when we've all seen what working from home looks like.
- A former Big Law associate from a Vault 10 firm (with several kids) told me that "it’s key for parents to have supervisors who support flexible schedules (e.g., signing off by 5 p.m. so you can do bedtime) and who model that this is acceptable at the firm. It is also crucial for parents to see other parents who are on reduced pace or modified hours make counsel/partner. A lot of firms give a lot of lip service to those programs… but then no one in those programs makes it at the firm… that’s a culture problem." It's not about moms not getting their work done, it's about that work getting done when the mom is able.
- Jessica Lewis, a partner at WilmerHale in San Francisco, says that her best advice for firms is to "recognize the long-term investment in moms and provide flexibility in the short-term. Even just for [her], [her] needs and wants for parental leave and reintegration were so different from [her] first child to the next."
- Promote parental leave for all: Encourage men to take parental leave to reduce stigma and ensure that women are not solely penalized for taking time off. There is so much that is deleterious about only women taking leave. First, it sets her up to be the default parent going forward. Second, it cuts dads off from bonding with their babies. Third, if it's primarily women who take parental leave, it creates a two-track system wherein moms alone pay the tax for parental leave.
- Launch mentoring and affinity groups: Establish meaningful support groups for moms, by moms, to provide encouragement and share experiences. Sometimes just seeing that someone got through rough patches as a Big Law lawyer mom can put enough gas into a more junior lawyer’s tank to help her keep going.
For Moms
- Set boundaries: Establish firm boundaries and stick to them. A litigation partner shared how setting a non-negotiable 5 p.m. departure time helped her maintain a balance. She worked extra hard after her children went to bed in order to show the team she was still a full contributor.
- Accept career fits and starts: Acknowledge that your career trajectory may not be a straight line.
- Jessica Lewis, of WilmerHale, encourages moms to remember that this is a chapter of life and not the whole book. She says: "you’ll get the pieces of yourself back that feel scrambled at times, so don’t judge yourself too harshly when you have yogurt on your pants or forget words like 'calendar.'" She encourages moms to realize that parenting and working in Big Law is a superpower.
- Outsource non-parenting tasks: Utilize services for grocery deliveries, cleaning, and laundry. This allows you to focus on parenting and work.
- Choose volunteering wisely: Participate in school activities that bring you joy and involve your children.
- Jennifer Sheffield Freel, a partner at Jackson Walker in Austin, suggests that Big Law moms sign up to bring the paper products and water to school events. She counsels, "don’t volunteer in ways that don't bring you joy or put you in contact with your kids." So don’t commit to doing things like covering library books or hanging art, that won't allow you to have a special interaction with your child at school. She urges that "government [and] in house jobs are not necessarily better. They often come with a lot less flexibility."
- Communicate with partners: Discuss your current life stage with trusted partners to manage expectations and commitments. A lawyer with children on the spectrum found that she got more leeway when she explained why she had to be pencils down for her children’s appointments.
- Ensure partner takes parental leave: Advocate for your partner to take parental leave to help normalize it and reduce the burden on moms.
While I wish the world were different, moms are treated differently than dads by their employers and society. Being in Big Law as a mom is hard. There is no panacea, but some changes can be made—by the firm and by the lawyers—to help it become more possible and, ideally, sustainable for all involved.
